My father, born on Christmas day and placed under the tree by GrandpaThis has always been a happy day for me because yesterday was Christmas and tomorrow is my birthday. It's my "in between day." I should add, we had a white Christmas, that is very rare here in Texas.
Instead of feeling happy today, I'm irritable, angry, frustrated and sad. I had the worst Christmas I can ever remember. I envisioned a quiet night around the lighted Christmas tree, reading of Christ's birth from the scriptures, remembering and feeling His love. I could get a hug as my only present and I would be grateful. I am not about buying gifts just so the kids will have something to open. If I purchase a gift, it must have meaning and love behind it. My Christmas went poorly because blended families can divide rather than blend. When Brooke came to me and asked, "why did Tim fill all the girls stockings except mine?" I was reminded that she is mine, her father is dead and Tim has not embraced her in his heart.
Christmas felt more like an obligation than a celebration. I long for a Christ centered home instead of just a half Christ centered home. I love my husband, but I wish he knew how true happiness and joy are obtained.
As my daughter Crystal would say, "mom, quit being a Debbie downer, be happy." So, I am off to make sure my happy "in between day" stays happy. I'm turning my frown upside down and smiling this frown away.
I am sorry about your sad day. I am hopeful that is turned around for you. Christmas is such a hard day. It is hard to balance to Spiritual and the gift giving. Gift giving can be very spiritual. I think that is neat that you buy presents that have meaning behind them.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday April! I hope that today turns out to be a fabulous day for you! I wish I was there to wish you a Happy Birthday in person! I am sending you love and hugs here.
Just having a chance to catch up with you here. hope you are doing well April. How did school turn out for you? Have you already begun the new session of classes? I'm so proud of you for pursuing your education even though you are struggling with your health. I think of you often and care for you so much!
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