Comfort

I watched Dr Phil just now (yes, I watch Dr Phil, while I clean) and today's show made me sit down and really listen. There was a couple that was stuck in the grieving process in the drowning death of their young son that occured 2 years ago. The son was ironically named Tyler, just as my young son, and stirred some feelings from my own loss.

I remember the depth of the pain and loss of his little life. I remember about 4 days after his burial, desperately wanting to go to the cemetery and dig up his casket just to feel him one more time. Now don't think I went crazy in my grief. I didn't act on the impulse, I knew he wouldn't look the same (but I didn't care about that), I just didn't want to let go.

Frequent, drop-to-the-floor crying spells seemed to comfort me because it meant I was feeling my love for him. I have never felt such raw emotions. As despair tried to envelope me, I felt surrounded and lifted up by feelings of love. It was as if an army of angels circled their wagons around me and dug in for the duration.

I surrendered to my Heavenly Father's plan, and I let his angels protect and love me and lift me out of despair. Comfort and love came to me from every direction as if I was a most favored daughter of God and he would stop at nothing to show me his thanks for caring and loving his dear son, Tyler.

Such a pleasure it was to care for Tyler. Such a joy it was to love him. Such a gift wrapped up in so much pain. This life is so worth the journey.